Molly's Torment
by yorkshirestar
Summary: Hello everyone this is my first story hope you like. Molly and 2 section have returned to Camp Bastion. This is about her thoughts and feelings while she waits for news.
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone this is my first story so i apoligise in advance if its not very good. I wanted to create a story involving Molly and how she feels when Smurf and Captain James were injured. A few swear words but not too many.

Why the hell did it have to happen, great I messed up again , I am now pacing the corridors at Camp Bastion hospital at two in the morning waiting for news. I never told him I loved him, what if he never wakes up its all my fault, my best friend and the man I love might die. Shit how can I live with myself, I will have to resign how can I look at the lads faces knowing I fucked up again.

"Molly go to bed we wont know anything till the morning" Kinders has sat with me all night "I cant Corpral I need to know whats happening, its all my fault" Iam now close to tears, Kinders puts his arm round my shoulder "Its not Molly how can it be, this shit happens out there, you can't blame your self". I am about to spill my guts and tell him the truth. I know it will land me in the shit but I dont care anymore, Jackie then walks down the corridor her scrubs covered in blood, shit whose is that. "Molls we have stabilised them both, Smurf is going to be ok hes now asleep, but Captain James is more serious" oh god what is she going to say" He is still unconscious and we've stopped the bleeding hes got a good chance but we've got to get him 's s been flown back home first thing in the morning. He will be transfered straight to Birmingham" she touches my arm" what about Smurf?"Jackie replies" he will go home with Captain James"

My legs have turned to jelly "Can I see them before they go" I am close to tears again "Molly are you sure your knackered ,you should be in bed" "please Jackie two minutes" I plead "Ok two minutes. Kinders is still holding me up "Molls I will go back to the lads I dont think they will be asleep, you have ten minutes and then I am coming to get you, you need to sleep" Kinders lets me go and heads off to the lads.

I follow Jackie down the corridor and turn left into the ICU. Oh shit hes on a ventilator and theres tubes everywhere. "Molly I am going to check on Smurf , two minutes ok" I nod my head. I look at him and grab his hand, nobody is around" Boss I am so sorry, I am a massive cockwomble if you make it through this I hope you can forgive me," I touch his face its warm" I want you to know I love you and I hope we have a chance to make a go of things" great I am crying again my heart feels like its split in two."Molly" oh shit Jackie's back and I think she heard me. I turn to face her and let go of his hand "Jackie how long have you been there" oh no "Long enough I think you and me need a little chat"

I will write the next chapter if readers want me to, hope you enjoyed it


	2. Chapter 2

RIam glad people like the first chapter if you want me to continue let me know.

Chapter 2

I cant believe it Jackie knows, what now? Jackie speaks first "Molly how long has this been going on for?" I take a deep breath "Jacks nothings going on" she raises her eyebrow "alright we have feelings for each other and I love him. We haven't done nothing oh apart from a kiss" Great I have come clean ,I've dug my own grave, I hope she dosen't report me. I will be out before my feet touches the ground.

"Molls am I supposed to believe that, he's married for fucks sake and an officer your a private, this sort of thing shouldn't happen. He's in a position of trust and responsibility,he should know better and your only young I should report it"I glare " I dont give a shit how old I am and it's partly my fault, he didn't force me, these regulations are bollocks,if you report it I will admit it cos I'm not ashamed. I will shout it from the rooftops"my voice rises.

He might not even want to know me now. I throw my hands up in the air I am beginning to lose my temper."In the corridor, Molly people in here are ill" I march into the corridor "I know he is bloody married they are getting a divorce he volunteered for this tour so she could sort everything out, I didnt mean to fall in love with him. We are from entirely different worlds he's a public school boy and I'm from a council estate, but I cant help my feelings. We were going to wait out" the tears are now flowing I didnt think I had any left, Jackie puts her arms around me.

"I wont report it you silly cow your my mate, we dont grass on each other we stick together. I knew you fancied him but I didn't think he would feel the same, I thought he would be in love with his wife. Captain James normally follows regulations to the letter. If it was one of the section he would kick their arse it must be love" Jackie jokes,"Molly dose anyone else know" I blink back my tears"Smurf" I whisper "oh shit when did he find out?"Jackie asks.

"Yesterday at the bunker he saw us together thats why its all my fault, I knew Smurf liked me, he just went mad and everything went tits up. Oh shit what am going to do"

"Molly it's not your fault Smurf is a trained soildier he should be able toi control his temper. He's got a load of other shit he's dealing with, did you tell Smurf you wanted a relationship with him?" I shake my head."no you didn't, if anyone else finds out about you and the boss the shit will hit the fan. Relationships aren't allowed cos things like this can happen. You're right to wait out, Molls wait till you get home. Smurf will get over it" I smile at last "Can I see Smurf?"

"Molly thats not a good idea, see him when you get home. He needs time to recover seeing you might upset him and I dont want him disturbed " "ok". I dont want to ague anymore. Its now gone three in the morning and I am knackered. Kinders is storming down the corridor "Dawes I thought I said two minutes your taking the piss. Bed now. I wont tell you again that's an order, Jackie is everything ok? She nods and smiles at me "see you tomorrow molly"

Hope that chapter was ok I will carry on, let me know thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

3Hi everyone, this is only a short chapter, give me a couple of days for another, work is calling.x

Chapter 3

I am laying in my bed staring at the ceiling of the hut. Its gone ten, we've got today off. Everyone is asleep apart from the ocasional fart and snoring the hut is quiet. I dont mind sharing with the lads normally, I just want to curl up into a ball and sob. I cant do that, they can't cope with an emotional wreck of a woman.

Why did it happen? Why did we chose that moment to kiss? Why did Smurf have to be a nosy bastard. Oh god I'm going crazy. I have never felt like this before Its like I am grieving for something that might never be.

What the fuck am I going to do my hearts been ripped out and stamped all over. I didn't think I would find love in this shithole. Two more weeks is all I had to wait. I have decided I am going to Birmingham as soon as I get home. I need to know how he feels and I am one he wants. Hopefully the wife wont be there.

Normally I am so sure about everything but this man has got under my skin.

I fucked up big time god knows how long I will have to wait now. What if the boss dies, what if he dosent want to know me anymore, he might get back together with his wife and play happy families. He will blame me for everything. God I'm going mad, I need to get out an clear my head. I think I will go for a run. I pull on my PE kit and trainers.

"Molls where you going, go back to sleep" says a muffled voice, a ginger head appears from under his blanket."out for a run Mansfield I cant sleep I'm going out of my nut here" all the lads are now waking up. "you lot go back to sleep I need to get out" Fingers rises from his bed "Molly we know how you feel, we need to stick together, w.e're going to Cyprus tomorrow an then home. They will be halfway home now there's nothing you can do, Smurf wont want you like this" shit they think I am worrying over Smurf, I am worried about him but my heart lies elsewhere "Come on lads we'll go for a run together." dangles says "Molls if you need to talk we are here" this makes me smile I didn't think they would be their for me. I thought they would blame me for everything. God they have suprised me perhaps they can put up with me, normally they get on my tits"Piss off you bunch of Cockwombles"

Thanks for reading xx

I was thinking that my next chapter to be set in Cyprus. Can you let me know if its a good idea if not I can set it in England. Thankyou


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry I havent added to my chapters. Think they call it writers block. I've not wrote anything for a while so I'm hoping you like it.

Cyprus.

Thank fuck we're almost home two more weeks to go. Personally I think its a complete waste of time but thats regulations apparently. Can't go can AWOL.

I'm sitting on the beach watching the lads arsing about they call it volleyball I call it a shambles. Everytime I close my eyes I can hear voices in my head, see images and smell blood god I need to get a grip. If only I had done things differently, if only I hadn't fucked up. Kinders wants me to talk to someone he can bollocks I ain't talking to no one. The only person I want to talk to is laying in a hospital bed in Birmingham. Kinders interupts my thoughts "drink molly" "thanks".

"Any more thoughts about seeing a councillor Molls you know they can really help" great here we go again" No I ain't talking to no one I'm talking to you" Kinders grins "Bet you cant wait to see Smurf again at least he's gonna be okay" fuck what dose he mean " What do you mean" my stomach turns "The bossman needs a operation there's been complications" Shit I'm gonna puke, images of Afghan flash in front of my eyes I'm not gonna cry, dose Kinders still think there's something going on between me and Smurf. Well I dont give a shit he can think what he likes all I want do is escape from this nightmare that has become my life. I look up and Kinders is smiling" Not long now Molls an you can vist Smurf in hospital you do know it's in Birmingham. I bet you're looking foward to it " now thats given me an idea two birds one stone. " Thanks Kinders, I think I will might get lost though Geography was never my best subject. " Kinders starts to laugh "You and your one liners Dawsey"

I wish I could sleep I've been struggling to sleep ever since the mission. I think when I get home I'm gonna have to nick Nans sleeping tablets. Everytime I manage to drop off Afghan returns the screams, smells, gunshots and dangles on the radio. The boss calling me by name, that will stay with me forever. If I don't see him again at least I know he cares, hopefully loves. I doubt it how can anyone love me I'm just a fuck muppet. I'm struggling to get comfortable it's boody red hot. I toss the duvet onto the floor. Images of the boss are whirling around my head.

Is this what's it's like to be in love, constantly thinking about them, imaging what the future would be like. What it would be like to make love, those chocolate brown eyes, his sculptured body,his arse, even his posh voice. I want to run my hands through his unruly wavy hair. For fucks sake get a grip Molly. I've gone Six months without, thinking about him and his body is making me horny all I need to do is wait out, fingers crossed I might get my leg over with the boss one day. Now I must get to sleep.

The days at Cyprus are long and boring. The lads take great care of me and treat me like I'm made of China. It's driving me bonkers. I know they care but they dont know the real reason why I'm a total mess the only person who dose is Jackie. She's still stuck at Bastion. Ive spoke to mum a few times but she dosen't understand I know she cares but there's only one person I want to see. I tried phoning Smurf but he told me to piss off. He can bollocks I aint going to bother seeing him now. I want to phone the hospital to see how the boss is but Iam afraid to. What if it's bad news or he might tell me to piss off. I wont be able to cope with that , my fragile heart will break. I will just have to turn up and hope for the best.

Great we're finally flying home. I still think it was a waste of time sitting on my arse for a fortnight doing fuck all. Especially because we aren't complete but I can see why the army dose it. I've still got my tan and the rest has done me good, the bags under my eyes have disappeared. I dont look too bad he's seen me looking like shit. I'm still hoping I can sneak off to the hospital. I will get a bollocking but I don't give a shit. I will have to go in with my uniform on. I'm hoping I can use this to my advantage the nurses might feel sorry for me and let me vist. Even if the boss dosen't want to see me at least I know I tried and then I can fix my broken heart.

Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed.


	5. Chapter 5

**I've had some great reviews thankyou. Not sure how the story is going to develop but hope you stick with me. The story may be slightly different to the series but I hope you dont mind. **

Brize Norton

Guess what it's raining, I haven't seen rain for months. We have to wait for our bags which seems to be taking an eternity. It's going to seem strange to see different faces, we have lived together for 6 months. It's going to be wierd not seeing the lads in their pants. I wouldn't mind seeing the boss in his. Bloody hell I can I think about him now images flash through my mind. I'm in a queue for fucks sake. Get a grip Molly."Alright Molls you look a bit flushed" shit " yeah Fingers it's just a bit hot in here I wish they would get a move on" . His eyes light up and I know hes going to say something that will piss me off. " Lads Dawsey looks a bit flushed I bet she's dreaming about seeing a certain welsh tosser" "Fuck off Fingers at least I might have someone to dream about all you can dream about is your hand" why did I say that this will add fuel to their fire and they will think me and smurf are together." Nice one Dawsey"Half of the platoon are pissing themselves. Its a good job Fingers has a sense of humour. We always take the piss out of each other but we have each others back and I can relay on them 100%. We would lay our lives down for one another and we have.

Thank god I'm at the front of the queue, I collect my bags and walk through the door to the waiting room. I am met with screams and banners, I search the crowd and spot dad who comes running towards me with nan and mum. I fling my arms around her neck "Mum you came" I sob"Of course I did Nan hired a Corsa can you come home" " No I want to go an vist Smurf , Birmingham" I hate lying to mum but I'd rather clean the latrines than face smurf. Mum turns to nan "We will drop you off, sure you can go " "Yeah mum it's cause I'm a medic".

I can see Kinders looking for me, hes going to kick my arse. I manage to hide behind dads england flag and slip through the door to the car park.

I'am sitting in the back listening to dad and nan bickering. It's a love hate relafionship. One minute they're at each others throat the next laughing and joking. I'm not really listening I stare out of the window and watch the world go by. People with their ordinary lives working nine till five. I crave normal at the minute. Normal isn't me perhaps abnormal, "Molly Molly are you with us Ive been talking to you for the last five minutes" " Sorry mum I was miles away" dad starts to snigger "Thinking about Smurf Molls , he might want you to change his bandages" right thats it I will give him both barrels I am sick of this piss taking " Dad there is no me and smurf, if he was the last man on earth I wouldnt touch him. I don't fancy him and I never will he is a mate nothing more" my temper is getting the better of me and my voice rises " actually I have met someone in Afghan and I have fell in love with him and hopefully him with me. In fact it's the captain so put that in your pipe and smoke it" oh shit what have i just said. The car is silent "Jesus Molls you know how to give a shocker, talk about aiming for the top hope you got your leg or". Nan starts to laugh and we all join in. "Oh shit mum I can't believe I have just told you that, what am I gonna do this isn't allowed to happen. Hes my CO it's against regulations the shit will hit the fan" mum turns in her seat "Molls ever since you were a little girl you always think the worst, is that who your seeing?" I nod "Follow your heart he would be nuts not to feel the same. Look we're your family we stand together. Go for it you only live once." I start to cry dad puts his arm around my shoulders" Its all my fault mum, Smurf saw us kissing. You know he has feeling for me. He went beserk shooting at a farmer. The boss was shot and then smurf." that's it the floodgates have opened " Molls Smurf will come round hes a nice lad. Go and see the captain even if he dont want to know, you have tried. You need to face this Molls otherwise if will follow you forever. If it's meant to be it will work out. Fuck regulations" Fuck dad you do have a heart.

Nan starts to sing along to the radio she really dose chose her moments.I really do love my family we stick together through thick and thin and I know they wont tell anyone until I'm ready. "Molls have you got some change I need to get some fags" I start to laugh " Yeah dad in my bag, thanks for letting me get that off my chest it's being doing my nut in" The rest of the car journey passes by fairly quickly. Nan pulls into the car park " Good luck molls remember follow you're heart tell him how you feel. If he upsets you tell me and I will sort him out" " Thanks nan " I jump out of the car and retrieve my kit from the boot. I head toward the doors and hopefully to someone who loves me.

I think I'm pleased with this chapter. I may alter it at some point please let me know if you like it. Iam debating whether to carry on with this story or just to leave it.

I've had some fabulous reviews. I am putting together a chapter together, give me a few days and I will publish it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the encouragement this chapter is for you**

QUEEN ELIZABETH HOSPITAL BIRMINGHAM

I find myself in a impressive reception area, I need to find the Royal Centre For Defense Medicine. A reception desk is front of me, as I approach the lady behind the desk looks up and smiles " Are you looking for the RCDM? "my uniform has done the trick"Yes just got back from Afghan, I'm looking for a friend he was brought in a couple of weeks ago erm from Bastion, I know its not visting hours" I give her a winning smile " We normallly make allowences for army personal and we have two wards soley for the services can I have his name please" god forgive me for lying " Yes its Dylan Smith" oh shit. I cant give the bosses name just in case. " Yes dear its ward 5, bay 6 bed 3" "Thanks" That was easier than I thought. The next part might be a bit more tricky. The boss is a senior officer, private rooms are normally reserved for them. I cant see the boss dossing it with a load of squadies. Deep breath Molly, I enter the corrider and walk slowly towards Smurfs bay. I don't want to see him but I have to bite the bullet. "Can I help you dear" a nurse walks towards me "yeah I'm looking for private Smith" deep breath" You wont find him in his bed, He's waiting to see his Captain and you are?" Molly a friend of Smurfs I mean Dylans" She smiles and lets me past. Oh shit I am going to have to face them together. Dig deep Molls you can do this. I find Smurf, I sit down beside him he dosent even notice" Smurf" oh shit" Oh it's you what do you want" "Dont be like this Smurf I'm your mate". "Mates dont shit on each other Molls. Mates stick together. You knew how I felt" "I can't help how I feel , nothing happened Smurf" It didn't have too did it Molls". A few moments pass before I speak "Smurf where is the Boss? Is that his room?" I stand and walk towards the private room window "He's had to go back to theatre Molls. The first operation hasn't done the trick, he went down about an houtr ago" Oh fuck I'm too late, I might never seem again. I sink to my knees and start to howl like a baby. Smurf just stares at me for a second. "Molly come here" Smurf comes towards me and lifts me up. He guides me to a seat. I feel his arms around me, comforting me. He is my best friend "Molly he will make it he's strong, come on stop crying he wont want to see you like this. I know you love him, I am going to have to learn to live with it." "Smurf I'm sorry" " I know Molls can we start again ,mates" . He can be a lovely bloke,, he will make a good husband one day, just not mine" You know Smurf you're a top bloke."

We've been sat here hours watching the world go by. We dont speak, we dont have to. Day turns to night and we haven't spoke for hours. In the distant I can hear clatter of wheels, I know that sound its a hospital bed. The bed is approaching, its surrounded by medical personal. I stand a nurse approaches us " I'm sorry it took longer than we thought. This latest bleed was unexpected, we've managed to stop it" Smurf is holding me up. I am lost for words " He's in a critical but stable consition, we will monitor him for the next 12 hours, go and get some rest." " No we are staying put" She smiles and follows the boss into the room. The blinds have been closed so I cant even catch a glimpse of the man I love. We wait out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Im sorry I left the last chapter hannging I couldn't resist**

Oh shit I have fallen asleep, I'm resting my head on Smurf's shoulder. Not sure how long I have slept for. I lift my head up, oh my neck hurts. " Sorry Smurf" Light is fitering through the window. The blind has been opened . I don't want to look. Deep breath Molly, I slowly stand, wipe my eyes and edge closer to the window. I hope to fuck he's still laying in that fucking bed.

I'm now standing at the window, Smurf hasn't moved. I can see him, it's been over two weeks since we were last together . What am I going to do, what if he rejects me, tells me to fuck off. My heart wont be able to deal with the pain.

I feel like some stupid love sick teenager and I'm grinning like a chesire cat. I cant move, my feet have become stuck to the floor. Deep breath Molly. I take a closer look, ventilator gone, he's breathing on his own oh shit. I turn my head and nod to Smurf. He looks so relived , we both are.

Then the boss begins to turn his head, I can see his face. He looks straight at me brown eyes meeting green, shit, a smile spreads across his face, what dose this mean. Could my hopes and dreams be about to come true, I hope so. "You can come in if you like" My legs turn to jelly, I feel like bambi on ice. The nurse is holding the door open. "You must be Molly, Charles has spoke about you a lot. Charles your girlfriend is here" Girlfriend fuck " Molly,Molly" " Sorry I was miles away". I start walking towards the door. Girlfriend is that what I am. Charles can't be his name. I want to laugh. We are in the same room, I am looking at him and him at me. " Charles" I begin to door closes we are on our own. "Is that your name Charles very public school boy" he dosen't look very impressed. His chocolate brown eyes look me up and down, he's naked from the waste up. I'm having those thoughts again. How can I feel horny in a hospital room " Are you going to stand there gawping all day. There is a chair here, I would love to know what your thinking." fuck, I speak before my brain engages" I want to fuck your brains out" His mouth drops open oh shit me and my big mouth "I don't think I'm up to it yet but I certainly will be" his eyes light up "Sorry boss I didnt mean to say that" I wish the ground would swallow me up. Hang on did he agree to it. "Sit down Molly"

I make my way towards the chair and sit. Jesus he looks like shit but I still fancy the pants off him. "So I'm your girlfriend Charles" I really want to laugh" Whats so fucking funnny about Charles" I cant help it I burst out laughing. All the tension, worry, pain escapes through the laughter. Eventually I stop myself, I grab his hand"I've been so worried, couldn't sleep I couldn't eat. Everytime I closed my eyes I could see you," " Ditto" my heart melts.

"Molly I love you, thinking of you and your smart mouth as kept me going. I want to spend the rest of my life with you" oh shit he feels the same.

"I love you too erm about what I said, I didnt mean for it to come out like that." a smile spreads across his face , I continue " Can I be honest with you, I fancy the pants off you , the last few months have been so hard waiting out. I've been feeling so horny recently and not seeing you, images have been going around my nut of us together alone. You are lying there half naked. I know you're ill but " now it's his turn to laugh "Your a born romantic Dawsey only you could talk about sex in a hospital room" I scowl " Molls I feel the same. " My scowl turns to smile "We will have to wait out I'm a sick man. Molly do you want to be my girlfriend?" that is so sweet "Course I do, more than anything but you're my CO" he frowns "Molly I don't give a shit, I'm not your CO anymore and nothing happened, I will speak to the Major. We in are different regiments. Molly give me a kiss" I cant deny a sick man.

As I leave the ward I am cloud nine. I can't believe it, he actually feels the same. We talk for hours, about our future how we feel. A great weight has been lifted. Even me and Smurf are now friends. I leave Smurf and the boss to talk "Private Molly Dawes where the fuck did you disappear to" oh shit Kinders. I turn around and the rest of two section are behind him laughing." Sorry corpral I had to come" he can't keep striaght face any longer " Dawes you idiot I'm only winding you up , Wheres Smurf? " what do I say " With the boss talking" The lads have now gone quiet .We all take a seat. Brains is the first to speak " Molls you didn't come to see Smurf did you" Oh fuck I am starting to panic. I am not going to answer " We know Molls" dangles looks straight into my eyes, Mansfield grabs my hand "All this time we thought you were upset over Smurf. You weren't thinking about him" Fingers continues the speech. " We love you like a sister Molls" I can't speak tears are falling down my face " No lads you're right. There is nothing between me an Smurf never was" Kinders looks into my eyes " If the Major becomes aware, we will back you and the boss up, swear nothing happened" Baz continues "Molly we saw you and the boss through the window kissing " Games up time to tell the truth" I'm sorry I didn't tell you, how could I. Nothing actually happened between us, I wanted too" Nude nut grimaces "Enough information Molls I've only just had my bacon sarnie". I really to love these boys, "Thanks lads you bunch of cockwombles."

Thanks for reading I think I have finished. I think I might continue with a follow up story. Ideas have been floating around for a while. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing. XXXX


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